I came home early. More specifically, I came home on the 31st of January instead of the 28th of February. It's a bit of a difference, I know. I felt, for several reasons, I had to come home. It's good being home. I hid nothing when it came to talks of how much I missed everyone, so my desire to be home veins from that (partially).

The snow is melting. I can see the (dead) grass. For the first time in months, I opened my window and let the breeze in. Excluding, of course, the time I basically broke into my house. (I needed to brush off my car. I started it to get it warmed up, closed the door, and began to dust off the snow. I didn't realize I had locked my only set of keys in my now-running car. I trudged through the knee-deep snow to the back gate and fumbled around for the spare key, which was no where to be found. I plodded over to my bedroom window and managed to get it open, but since I'm squishy and lack upper body strength, I wasn't able to hoist myself inside. Dragging my feet, I walked -back- through the snow to the garage, found a suitable step stool, went back to my bedroom window, climbed inside [getting snow all over my bed] and got the OTHER spare key to my car from the basement.) So, excluding that time, this is the first time my window has been opened since the weather dropped to horrible temperatures. Sammich is enjoying it greatly. He's perched sturdily in the sill, taking in the air and watching the movement outside.

Brett and I are no longer speaking. The story is long and strangled so I won't elaborate past this: he put his hands on Erica and I in a most unforgivable fashion, so I ripped him a new asshole. Not that he needed one;  his entire essence reeks of asshole. His asshole potential is off the Richter. He is the manager of the Asshole Store. With a little patience and perseverance, he could some day own that Asshole Store and eventually climb the ranks of Asshole Incorporated to become Senior Asshole. Maybe someday he can achieve the ultimate rank of President Asshole of Asshole Incorporated, overseeing every other Asshole in the establishment and setting an example for his subordinates to increase their Asshole potential and be all they can be. Eventually he'll grow old and tired, and his Asshole legacy will go down in the books, and generation after generation will read stories of his Assholery and go "Wow, what an asshole he was!". It wouldn't be more true. There would never be an Asshole with more Asshole directly embedded into his brain than that of Brett Parker.

I think you get my drift, here. I fear for Erica's safety more than I'd like to admit, but ultimately the choice is hers. I won't force her to leave him, but I won't ask her to stay with him either. She knows how I feel. She knows that she can turn to me should she need help. That's all I can do.

Lack of finances and employment aside, it's good to be home.

I slept super late today. Today was pretty basic - slept, got online, chatted, went for Olive Garden, came home, watched Hot and Fluffy with Chris, Chris went to his room to *ahem* "go to bed" and I started my workout. It was pretty basic, but it lasted for about 40 minutes. I'm going to work on flattening my stomach and strengthening my arms/legs, so that was my focus tonight. Tomorrow when I'm feeling adventurous I'll tinker with the treadmill and see if I can't it going.

Now that I'm feeling sufficiently stretched and tired, I'm sitting down at the laptop with a glass of water and a smoldering feeling in my limbs. I seem to have misplaced all of my hair ties, so I pulled the airplane ID tag off my bag and used the elastic to tie my hair back. Let it never be said that I don't know how to improvise.

I really miss being home. I like it here and everything, but there's a certain amount of comfort everyone feels when they're actually home. Plus, if I were home I'd have access to everyone I love and miss. I sort of feel bad for Chris - he doesn't have the support here like I do at home. It's good for him to be here because then he can finish his degrees and whatnot, but I know what it's like to be lonely. Before I met Erica, I was lonely most of the time. Now there really isn't a day that goes by that I don't at least think about her and wonder how she's doing.

I really need to get more music on my iTouch. Can anyone recommend anything?

I miss and love you guys. Be good.

It's a little after 4:30am as I begin to write this blog. Sleeplessness has overtaken me and my mind is restless. Moonlight is slipping through the blinds and cascading small lines of light upon the carpeting, striping the living room with a soft glow.

I laid for sleep. I took my hoodie off and laid the blanket upon my body. It fell around me, molding to my form like cheesecloth over whey. A small sliver of illumination crested my bare shoulder as I lay. I stared at my skin and subconsciously began to run my hand gently over my arm, lightly touching the surface with just my finger tips. I imagined his touch. My heart raced and ached all at once, realizing both facts at once: I long for it but cannot have it.

His words drug me. I find myself in a sincere euphoria, hanging from his lips/fingers as his expertly composed statements invade my mind like an intoxicating pheromone.

I'm paraphrasing this a little, but:

"Come, night... Come, loving black brow'd night and give me my Romeo. And when he shall die, take him and cut him into little stars... For he will make the face of heaven so fine that all will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun. O, I have bought the mansion of a love and not yet possessed it. And though I am sold, not yet enjoyed. So tedious is this day, as is the day before some festival to an impatient child who hath new robes and may not wear them."

That is one of my favorite lines from Romeo & Juliet. I feel as if I should be speaking those words, now.

I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my cat. I miss Wisconsin. I am enjoying myself here and Chris has been a wonderful host, but it's difficult to be plucked from normalcy and placed into familiar yet unrecognizable territory. I don't know how I'll manage being away for so long. I'm already feeling the loneliness settle in and I've only been here a few days. I have weeks to go. Weeks.... Weeks without everything I hold dear.

Weeks...

Hello, dear readers. I'm safely in Texas after many hours of traveling. So much has happened even though I'm only in the beginning of my journey. I've met Chris' father, brother and sister-in-law. I've also met his best friend Jacob, Jacob's wife Liz and their adorable baby son, Zen. I had the privilege of eating absolutely amazing Mexican food at a very small restaurant in Quinlan. Chris even humored me and stopped by T.G.I.Friday's before we headed home, where Vanilla Bean Cheesecake was purchased and promptly devoured. (It's my favorite desert. Nothing will ever top it. It's like an orgasm for my mouth. [Note: "FOR my mouth", not "in my mouth". Easy, boys.])

The weather is significantly warmer here, as one would suspect. I can easily get away with wearing a hoodie rather than the winter parka, gloves, boots, leg warmers and thermal pants I required in Wisconsin. It feels quite nice to have fresh, warm air blowing through my long hair.

...Chris is listening to Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail in his room.

"I'm FRENCH! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?!"
"...What are you doing in England?"
"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS."

I miss everyone at home already.

I think I'll conclude this for now, but I may have an update later with pictures.

I apologize for my extended absence from the website. I have no excuse other than laziness and being distracted by shiny objects.

Christmas is here. I blew all my money on gifts, as I'm prone to do. I am now practically penniless, but satisfied. I really hope everyone enjoys the presents I got for them.

I ended my most recent relationship. It was for the best, for many reasons. I was upset for a day or two and now I'm fine. It's amazing how easy people make it to move on, sometimes.

As I type this, my extended family is filing into my house little by little; saturating the space with bodies and warmth. I love Christmas Eve. I see my family together for a joyous occasion; most of the time we get together only for weddings (which are also lovely occasions) and funerals, where the mood is obviously dreary.

For Christmas, my parents bestowed upon me a new car. I'm quite excited - my old car was on it's last leg, I believe. It leaked exhaust fumes inside the car, the muffler and exhaust system were totally shot, the air conditioning didn't work and it periodically leaked transmission/brake fluid. It still runs and a friend of mine is looking to purchase it. While I'm leery of selling it to her because it's basically a rolling trash can, it will allow her to see her son every once in a while which is very important to her (and me, for that matter).

My employer, Steve and Barry's, is closing their chain for good in January, 2009. After my location closes I'll be visiting a friend in Texas for an unknown length of time before I begin school. I'm finally going back to school and I couldn't be happier about it. When I had it, I didn't want it - but now that I'm sick of my life and tired of being in a never-ending stalemate, I WANT to progress, learn and expand myself. It's a very positive decision and I'm proud of myself for making it.

My hair is almost dry after taking my shower, so I'm going to doll myself up and socialize with my family. I suggest you all do the same, should you have the chance.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Brugmansia

Well, it turns out that I've developed acute Laryngitis and a friendly helping of Strep Throat. I can't taste or smell anything. My eyes are watering constantly and I've been blowing my nose more than I ever have in my life. It hurts to swallow liquids. I'm cold all the time, even if I have multiple layers of clothing on and a few blankets piled on top of me.

I got antibiotics on Monday. I thought I'd feel a little better by now but I feel about the same, if not a little worse. At this point I'm ready to tell the doctors to chop the damn things (tonsils) out and be done with it all. I don't have to work for the rest of the week, but I have to go in even if I'm not feeling better next week. I wish the places I worked would have a little sympathy. I realize that I can't take time off all the time, but I'm sick. I'm not fooling around. Couldn't they please just relax, wish me well, and tell me to call when I'm up and running again?

Dreaming. Too much dreaming.

I may go soak in the bathtub for a while. Being sick sucks. I rarely get sick,  but when I do it hits me like a ton of bricks.

Halloween was a blast. I wore a French Maid costume. I know what you're thinking: OMGSHORT?! Yes. Yes it was. I looked fantastic, if I do say so myself. Brett, Erica, Travis and I went to McCulliffe's first and had a few drinks (including a very delicious Pumpkin Spice shot) and then went back to Erica's for the house party. There was lots of alcohol. I got sick. >.> Thankfully a big strong Marine carried me upstairs and put me in the guest room so I could pass out. The night was tame but very fun. One of my  best Halloweens yet. :)

I also received my new gaming PC from Sheep. The graphics are simply amazing and the extra RAM is very noticeable. Combine the new PC with the new monitor and my rig is very, very impressive. <3

I'm broke, but that's no surprise. I've been riding on E for the past week even though gas prices are dropping. My car also needs new windshield wipers and a plate renewal. I also need to renew my license which expired in September. Oops. >.>;

I'm quite pleased that Obama won the election. It's a much needed change. I'm hoping America can move forward now into a better era. I trotted over to the local voting booths on November 3rd and cast my ballot for Obama, picked up my "I Voted Today!" sticker and wore it with pride. That night, I watched in silence and awe as our new President delivered an amazing speech to ring in his victory. I'm proud of America. We've come a long way since racism and slavery. It's high time that we can prove that enough people in America don't care about skin color, but instead care about who YOU are inside. Who you are isn't as simple as your nationality and shouldn't be subjected to such superficial organization.

I have quite a long day ahead of me tomorrow, so I should probably head to sleep.

Take care, until next I write.

My birthday this year was mighty fun. Spent time with family (seeing my extended family from Virginia was wonderful) and friends, had a lot of out-of-state visitors. Blowing up the castle cakes with firecrackers was probably my favorite part of the evening. (Yes. You heard me right. We baked two cakes in a castle-shaped cake pan, took them outside, stuffed firecrackers in them, lit the fuse and ran. It was my Mother's idea for my nephew several years ago and I just loved it, so I wanted to do it this year.)

There was food. So much food. The party was quite large actually, much larger than I was expecting. Loud music played throughout the house as my collection of loved ones shuffled throughout my home. It felt like it was Christmas, a little.

My mother baked me a Harry Potter birthday cake like I asked. It looked like this but with chocolate frosting instead. It even said "Happee Birthdae Harry" on it and had the crack down the middle. Don't ask me why I wanted one, I just did for some reason.

I recieved gifts this year, as well.

Sheep decided he wanted to re-build my entire computer setup this year as m gift. In approximately a week, I'll be receiving a new custom built computer with an excellent video card, 2 gigs of ram, 232gb hard drive and many more pretty features. He also purchased a new monitor for me - it's a 22" wide screen flat panel. I've never had a widescreen before, but it's gorgeous. I'll post pictures below.

Sam gave me a beta key for Wrath of the Lich king, which I've been playing incessantly since I recieved it. I have a gallery of screenshots uploaded here, so feel free to check them out. (And envy me. Muahaha.) [Sidenote: It's incredibly nice to talk to Sam again.]

I saw Chris (Drunky, as I used to call him) for the first time since he moved to Texas. I can't believe how tall he is... 6'3" is quite intimidating to a 5'5" woman. His gift to me was a few shots at the bar after my party was over. ;) Steve was here as well, and brought with him the gift of infinite hugs and tons of laughs. (Best free present ever, IMO. Plus he drove my "drunk ass" [I was not drunk, but everyone said I was] home that evening.)

All in all, my birthday was spectacular this year. I hope I'll see more friends and family next year for another gathering.

In other news, I may be getting a new car. It's a 2001 Jetta that looks almost exactly like this one, except I think the one I'm thinking of buying might be in better shape than the one in the photo. (I had to google search for a shot of one.) I'm in the process of loan talks with my bank right now. My current car has been good to me and lasted through a lot but I think it's on it's last legs now. If I do get this new car, traveling will be much easier. I've wanted to take more trips... California, Florida, Texas, New York, Kentucky, Ohio... All these places I'd like to go, but I can't drive there because I think my car would implode. Not a comforting feeling.

In my last bit of updating, I'd like to show you some Myspace layouts I've been whipping up via commissions or referrals. They can all be found here.

I suppose that's all for now. Keep in touch, everyone.

Current Music: Bob Marley - This is Love

I made a new piece in Photoshop today. I'm quite happy with the results. In my first attempt I nearly gave up because I couldn't figure out how to create the effect that I wanted, but upon perusing the internet I found inspiration.

Current Music: Daddy DJ - Please Take Me To The Party