Little darlings -

I've got several things to say, but first of all I'd like to do something incredibly special.

So many of these kids are making fun of me for being fat, being ashamed of being fat, being self conscious about being fat... So on, so forth. The fact of the matter is, yes - I'm fat. Do I care? Only because it's a health risk. Sure, I'm not happy with the way I look, but that's why I'm working on changing it. You chose to ignore that remark, I saw, but whatever. The point I'd like to make is that a lot of people are self-conscious about their weight, which includes Michelle, the self-righteous bitch that pretends to be perfect.

I'll show you.

In case we're all unclear, the author is Ashli and the subject is Michelle, the girl featured above.

You see, I don't give a shit that she's fat. I just find it highly amusing that she PRETENDS to be confident in front of the masses when really she's just a whining little bitch about her appearance, just like everyone else is. OOOOOOOH MY GOD, we're all fat!!!!! ...Who CARES? America is fucking fat. Skinny people are the minority. Get the fuck over it.

Speaking of getting over it, the shit you keep throwing at me is all stuff from what.... Like... 5 years ago? Maybe more? It seems so long since I've dealt with any of you, but it's nice to know things don't change. Speaking of things not changing, the REASON behind blocking Ashli and Michelle on Myspace is exactly because of what they're displaying now. Michelle talks about me being predictable and how she can anticipate my every move. She's just as predictable, though. The moment anyone "fucks with" her friends, she throws an absolute shit-fit and pretends to be some big tough hard bitch to defend everyone else. That's another thing - you poked at Chris for having "his succubus fight his  battles" (referring to me), when you're fighting someone else's battle too. Uh. Let's not get into the hypocrisy. Let's move on.

It's obvious from that LJ-entry that we're all a little fucked up in the head. Michelle wants to starve herself, Ashli abused laxatives, Michelle has scars from cutting herself and I've attempted suicide before. Please allow me a moment to express my shock: omgimshocked. Oh, look at that. Turns out that those facts aren't really surprising at all. Michelle has done her fair share of slutting around (she even at one point wanted to create a "bigger girl" version of Suicide Girls, and created her own Myspace profile with pictures of her in lingerie on it [and she said she was throwing up at the idea of nude pictures of me? tehee. she threw them out there for the PUBLIC - at least the ones I took were for my boyfriends]), just as I have. I don't know much about Ashli's past sexual experiences but from what I've heard, she's not exactly an amatuer either. You dirty girl you. ;)

Yup, I stabbed you all in the back. Yeah, I cheated on boyfriends before (multiple times!). Yes, I've slept around. I do regret cheating. I should've just dumped Matt and been with Tom. *shrug* Oh well. Do I regret hurting any of you? .... ... ... Actually no, not anymore. For a while I thought, "Wow. That was pretty fucked up." But now I'm under the impression that whatever I did to betray you all, you deserved it. Michelle has such an ugly personality when it comes to disagreements that I really don't regret pissing her off so she'd want nothing to do with me. I'm really actually kind of GLAD that I did it; if I hadn't fucked her over, I'd never be rid of her.

Don't care much about Ashli, except for "it had nothing to do with you so shut up". Hmmm... You getting pissed at Chris for talking to me. There's a word in there I want you to focus on: "me". Referring to me, myself, my person, my being. So therefor, it does in fact involve me. Go figure. If you two want to act like babies and throw him out like elementary school children with your "YOU CAN'T COME TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY" attitudes, then fine. He's better off with you. Have you ever realized how ridiculous you're acting? Rather than just let him be, you're throwing around ultimatums and pissing on yourselves  because he didn't do what you wanted him to do. I can't even claim to know who you people are or what you've  become since I last knew you, but the behavior you've exhibited really doesn't need to be explained. You haven't changed a tad. You're still both bitches, you're still self-rightous, you're still parading around like goddamn peacocks with your feathers at full bloom because you think you're better than everyone else.

I know damn well that I have no right to talk about maturity or friendship, but you two really take the fucking cake. You preach about maturity when you STALK me and find my blog and barrage me with ludacris comments and ridiculous accusations. Thank you, though, because now I know what being a celebrity feels like. You're like my own personal paparazzi. It's pretty bitching, really. The fact that you took the time out of your day to try replying over Myspace, found that you were blocked, searched for me online, actually FOUND me, and spent all that time writing out that absolutely beautiful 4-part novel is kind of flattering, honestly. New material is needed, though.

Someone mentioned, not sure who it was, that I'm "pretending like all of this isn't getting to me, when really it is". The fact of the matter is simply that I find you obnoxious. You're like ticks. Do I need to get fire and burn you off to get you to go away? Let go of your past, Jesus Christ. Yes, I fucked you over. You fucked me over too. Big. Fucking. Deal.

There's no need for you to go ape-shit and stir up drama (which you LOVE accusing me of doing) on the internet.

For those of you reading that don't quite follow the situation, Michelle (Or Micki as she likes to call herself) is Matt (my ex-boyfriend, who I cheated on repeatedly and lied about it)'s wife. She thinks that because I fucked over her now-husband that she's entitled to haunt me for the rest of my life. Ashli is the ex of Chris, who I stood up for, and now the wife of Peaches, who I won't speak ill of no matter how much he hates me. Ashil, Matt, Peaches and Michelle all hate me (for good reason, mind you). Fast forward to last week; they told Chris that he "can't be friends with both sides" (referring to me vs. them). I didn't know there were sides anymore. You people are STILL holding onto the bullshit that happened years ago. I'm not asking you to be BFFOMGAWD. I don't even want to be a part of your fucked up lives. I don't even want to TALK about you, but here you are, pissing me off and creating a goddamn scene.

I stood up for Chris. That's what started this whooooooooooole thing. (The recent shit, I mean.) I sent Ashli the following message via Myspace:

"Subject: Chris He told me that you and Peaches opted to cut ties with him purely because he started talking to me again. My personal feelings about you and Peaches aside, you're still acting childish. This isn't high school anymore. Chris should be allowed to talk to and be friends with whomever he wants, as should you. Would you want one of your friends telling you to choose a side between two people you care about?What happened is between us three. If you two want to hate me, go on ahead. I hold no grudges and harbor no ill will towards either you or Peaches. It's all good and gone as far as I'm concerned. It was years ago, you're happily married - what do you care? It's not like I'll be visiting your house with him or even stepping into the same state as you. Believe me, you've made your venomous opinions of me quite clear. I'm more than happy to stay as far away from you as humanly possible and avoid you both at all costs to preserve both your happiness and my own.It is, however, distinctly unfair and very high-school of you to begrudge Christopher because of something that happened with me. I think you know it, too, which is why you're being so bitchy about the situation. Rather than talking to him about how you feel like an adult, you flew off the deep end and severed all communications with him.It's your loss. I just figured I'd let remind you that Chris is a good guy and an excellent friend. You'll be missing out on quite a lot and punishing him for something he didn't do. Asking someone to choose sides is malicious and cruel. It's a really crappy way of manipulating people. I just hope you realize that. I'll do what I can to rectify the damage you've caused, but I can't replace either of you in his life. You hurt him, and it wasn't fair for you to do it.Don't bother writing back. I've blocked you."

Oh lawdy. Michelle is right, I'm soooooo "fucking with" Ashli. I'm sorry, if you call that "fucking with" someone, I'd really like to know what exact term they'd apply to what they're doing with me. Stalking? Harassing? JEEBUS. I'm sorry the ever-sensitive and very delicate Ashli can't handle a message like that.

Let me tell you exactly how much I enjoy your company: If it were possible, Michelle, I would have a restraining order for your psycho ass. I would've had it a LONG time ago. You are absolutely bat-shit insane. You're the meanest person I know, and that's saying a -lot-. I'm sure you take pride in it, but it's a pretty disgusting thing to be proud of. Being vicious isn't something I'd like to go down in the history books for. (And I'd know all about going down. WINKWINK!)

In any case, I'd like to kindly ask you to fuck the hell off and go back to being insane together. I know I'm much happier and much less annoyed with you 1,000 miles away and living your own little lives than I am with you stupid bitches barking at my goddamn doorstep.

"Flame on little girl". Oh fucking God. If I had a magical mirror that would show you exactly how fucking stupid you look when you say stuff like that, I'd stuff it in your fat face. Go back to your happy little world. I'm sure you'll be much more comfortable in your dilusions that you're good, interesting, original human beings instead of facing the fact of what you really are: pathetic e-stalking dogs snapping and biting from the end of your tether.


Michelle contacted me again, but I won't be posting it here because it's all the same old tired shit. You can get the basic gist of it from this reply, anyway. This time she actually went to the trouble of locating my e-mail address. This is getting good. ;) ------

First response:
You are stupid. There is no other way for me to express how I feel.
Believe me, we're laughing just as hard at you as you think we are. ;)

Such a stupid, stupid little girl. But so very entertaining. To be
honest with you, I'm flattered that you found yet another avenue to
stalk me through. You really just can't stop contacting me. Sad...
And, just because I feel I should tell you this as a friend - you're
really not as intimidating, funny or hurtful as you think you are. No,
you have't hurt me. Like I said, you are completely obnoxious and
annoying. I think you should do something more with your life than
stalking me. I won't be posting any of your responses, because you
aren't worth being heard.

Toodles. :)

Second part:
By the way,  I'm glad you laughed at the page. It's good to laugh at yourself. :)

I figured I'd reply more formally now that I'm actually at a PC instead of updating from my itouch. Confusing machine. Anyway - moving on:

No matter how much you'd like to think you've affected me in a negative fashion, it couldn't be farther from the truth. I suppose getting it through your thick skull is next to impossible, however, so I guess I'll just have let you believe what you want. If it comforts you to picture me as a writhing ball of emotions because of your ridiculous elementary attitude, be my guest. :) You always were all about instant self-gratification, after all, so I guess it's not all that surprising.

"Cried over the internet for days"? I would hardly call my responses "crying". Maybe we should re-examine what "crying" means, because clearly I don't understand your interpretation. See I've always imagined crying to be an example of sadness, pain or suffering. I really feel none of those things at the moment, and haven't at the hand of you for many, many years, so... Crying over the internet? No. Flaming? Eh.... I'm not really MAD though. My situation is more like a really irritating Chihuahua biting at my ankles and yapping at the top of it's tiny little lungs. Yes. That is how I feel. I feel as if two little ratty Chihuahuas are annoying the fuck out of me and won't go away. Perfect.

You think that page was me exposing your secrets? Hardly. No no, that's not even scratching the SURFACE of the barrel of monkeys you two have collectively. Suicide attempts? Cutting? Eating disorders? Borderline mainstream compared to the other things I've learned. It's not my place or my pleasure to expose you for the dirty girls you are, though, so I'll leave you to do that yourself (if you aren't still living in your little pretend world, that is). See the only real reason I locked the Blog is because you, and everyone else, already knows the truth. I don't hide it from anyone. I'll admit to you that I used to, a LOT, but I'm just repeating myself. You know that. I don't anymore, because there's no point to hiding it. It was -years- ago. Anyone I know now doesn't give two shits about what I've done in the past because I don't do that sort of stupid shit anymore. Live and learn. Grow up. Mature. It's part of life's little cycle. Anyway, back to the blog - why should I allow myself to be harassed for things that happened years ago? Uh, I don't live in the past. I move on. I really wish you two could do the same, but I guess you need something to fixate on and someone to rip apart in order to feel superior and confident, and I guess I just happen to be this month's flavor. It's pathetic, really.

I don't fake who I am. I take good pictures. :) I don't like my body yet so I don't photograph it, but I don't go around on Myspace or Facebook or whatever claiming to be a 120 pound girl. When/if people meet me, they see that I'm fat. Or I talk about it before hand. Or they already know. Or they'll never meet me. Or it doesn't matter. I'm working on losing the weight and that's what gives me MY confidence. Yup, I'm fat. But I can change being fat. You can't change being a bitch from your core to the tips of your hair. Everything about you stinks down to your selfish little attitude, and you'll remain that way for the rest of your sad life. I really truly, feel deeply sorry for you. Unable to let go of the past. Unable to move on. Unable to handle situations like an adult. Unable to stay the fuck out of other people's business. I didn't write to YOU, I wrote to Ashli. And by the way, no. You're not a good writer. You're good at throwing grown up, very wordy and poorly outlined temper tantrums. There's a huge difference.

"And you want to know something? The big page you made directed at all of us
> because we pissed you off so bad where you tried to "air our dirty
> laundry"? It was really pointless. Everything you said, everyone who knows
> me knows."

That's exactly how I feel about everything you said about me. It's pointless and old. Why are you such an unyielding hypocrit? You just never stop. You're always right, no matter how ridiculously WRONG you actually are. You have your little army behind you; your own little matchbox gang to stick up for you even if you look completely retarded. It's funny how the bandwagon works. Even though you're all riding in the same vehicle, going to the same location, you're still on the goddamn short bus.

"Love Always",


Well. That's interesting.


Obviously that's a dramatization, but it's not far off. Ahem. I password-protect mine... She deletes hers.


The entry is up for all to see, but I've put it on a page where I won't get a barrage of stupid comments from the idiotic paparazzi that's decided to swarm me. You guys are doing great things for my site hits, though. I refuse to deal with children. No matter what I say, you stick your fingers in your ears and scream at the top of your lungs and refuse to listen even when I counter your bullshit. So I'll do what I know pisses you off: I will silence you. :) But please, feel free to show the entry to everyone you know. Make sure you show them this page too, though. I'm sure they'll be interested in it, as well.

YES! That long blog was written entirely by me and it's the 100% truth. I'll link it again:


It was YEARS AGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Gooooood chriiiiist learn to let gooooooooooooooooooo.

Go ahead and send it to your friends. Just make sure to tell them that you're hung up on shit from 5 years ago.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck. I'm bored with you all. x.x Have fun with the blog. I'm sure the circle jerk will be filled with roly-poly-tons-of-fun action.