Little stars - A e r i f o r m

It's a little after 4:30am as I begin to write this blog. Sleeplessness has overtaken me and my mind is restless. Moonlight is slipping through the blinds and cascading small lines of light upon the carpeting, striping the living room with a soft glow.

I laid for sleep. I took my hoodie off and laid the blanket upon my body. It fell around me, molding to my form like cheesecloth over whey. A small sliver of illumination crested my bare shoulder as I lay. I stared at my skin and subconsciously began to run my hand gently over my arm, lightly touching the surface with just my finger tips. I imagined his touch. My heart raced and ached all at once, realizing both facts at once: I long for it but cannot have it.

His words drug me. I find myself in a sincere euphoria, hanging from his lips/fingers as his expertly composed statements invade my mind like an intoxicating pheromone.

I'm paraphrasing this a little, but:

"Come, night... Come, loving black brow'd night and give me my Romeo. And when he shall die, take him and cut him into little stars... For he will make the face of heaven so fine that all will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun. O, I have bought the mansion of a love and not yet possessed it. And though I am sold, not yet enjoyed. So tedious is this day, as is the day before some festival to an impatient child who hath new robes and may not wear them."

That is one of my favorite lines from Romeo & Juliet. I feel as if I should be speaking those words, now.

I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my cat. I miss Wisconsin. I am enjoying myself here and Chris has been a wonderful host, but it's difficult to be plucked from normalcy and placed into familiar yet unrecognizable territory. I don't know how I'll manage being away for so long. I'm already feeling the loneliness settle in and I've only been here a few days. I have weeks to go. Weeks.... Weeks without everything I hold dear.


1/25/2009 12:07:01

I miss you so much hun. As stupid as it sounds I feel as though part of me is missing. You are my best friend and the closest thing I have had to a sister. As much as I miss you I also realize that you very much needed this time away. You have been extremely stressed and worn out. You needed a vacation, and as much as Imiss you, I know that this time will be good for you. I love you baby girl. That will never change no matter where you are.

1/25/2009 12:09:14

I love you too, Erica honey. I miss you more than I can stand. I needed a vacation, but honestly, it would be much better if you all were here with me. I'm having a blast with Chris and I'm so glad I get to visit with him, but it would be perfect if you all were here with me, enjoying the warm weather and causing a ruckus. I miss you all so, SO very much.


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